Match Struck, Unlit

by Sine Qua Non

I knew it was real. That it was possible to fall so suddenly, so vulnerably. To be overcome by a sense of attraction so strong there’s no way to rationalize it. Nor is there any reason for one to rationalize how or why it even happens. It just does.

When he stood beside me by the veranda. When he shook my hand from across the table when we met. When he took me by the waist to save me from the swinging door. When he looked up at me from his book. When she pinned me against the wall beside the sink. When he handed me a bottle of iced tea. When he handed me a glass of wine. When she mispronounced my last name written on the index card. When he said my name out loud, finally. When he took the empty seat next to mine.

Nobody needed to be introduced. Names were not important in that moment when the emotions cut across without need for words. We were made this way originally anyway. Without the aid of speech, knowing it with just one look. How could I have lost that? How is my self now unable to recognize and commit to the magic of knowing an attraction at first glance? I want to know it again. To be able to feel it again. Somebody, show me. Please.