Matchbox Maladies

Catastrophic uncertainty of the self.

Month: September, 2012

by Sine Qua Non

it is imperative, for me, for myself, for my sanity, to take note of the changes happening here. how, after all those entries, the professions of love that cannot be said out loud, that cannot be signed with my name, impit kong mga sigaw na gaano man katindi ang nais na ilabas ay hindi maaaring marinig ng sinuman there is a noticeable change in the frequency of self-expression in this part of my cyber-universe.

because finally i’ve been found out.


the best part is. you love me too.


by Sine Qua Non

if only i read this before i actually allowed that kiss to happen, then maybe i won’t have this noose around my neck.

can i call you darling

by Sine Qua Non

and tell you how i am moved by the way your eyes caress me from that distance. two bottles of dark roast brew between us and a universe with seeming infinite possibilities in our hands on this table where the rest of the world is lost on us and the only people who know us are the waiters ever so loyal to bring us our elixir, make the night possible, permit us to prolong, stay

can i say, darling, this time, let the roll of the r elide into the curl of the l, the way tongues move – oh you know that well – and plant another kiss on your cheek, and another, and another. easy, it come naturally, our lips know where it will land, what mark it will leave on skins that anticipate and have imagined this so well. so eagerly. darling, i whisper, and on your ear you will hear the blooming of a flower.

darling, darling, daredevil slip your hands where it belongs, if you will. under the seat, behind the wheel and hold on, hold tight as we speed through the night. have we not always longed for dawn, to be bathed in the rays of a rising sun? finally, together, our morning no longer another typewritten daydream. there it is, don’t you see, at the end of the highway, away from this city. or maybe, just maybe, under these sheets in a universe that knows only you, only me.

by Sine Qua Non


it would be with such carelessness if i put this song up in my other blog or my other spaces online. but its a sort of shout out to the universe. an exhale, if you will. about things i cannot speak aloud about but wish to scream of.

it’s been a week now since that night. my skin still tingles at the memory of your fingers touching me. and those eyes.


i should have known you would cause me heartache.