Bad News

by Sine Qua Non

Everybody warns me about you. They know what you’ve been up to and the patterns are all too telling. one of them asks me why I go on. Another’s just putting a premium on the length of time I can go on with this. Others just shake their heads and throw me that you-should-know-better look.

They talk to me like I have no idea of what’s going on and what’s going to happen. The what’s-going-on part I would like to say they’re completely wrong, cause the going-ons are exactly what I know and what they don’t. The what’s-going-to-happen part, I must admit I really have no clue. But neither does any one of them. So while the equation for your past lovers all ended up in a null and ever so pun-intended prediction of pain, I have no fear whatsoever, of how this equation will turn out.

It is not that I’d like to set myself apart from the rest. I am in fact quite interested in how I fit in this entire puzzle and how the picture changes once I’m taken out or when another piece comes in. I feel no need to be a piece necessary for a picture I could net yet imagine in my mind’s eye. You can scatter the pieces of all these playthings you’ve pulled apart, but not me. See mister, I’ve pulled myself apart even before I let you touch me.

What I have guaranteed is that take me or leave me, there is no space to be broken anymore, no excuse to be lost. I charted the path to where I stand with you and if you leave me midway, I’ve made sure I would know where to go. It is not a matter of apathy or momentary fondness, not a game I’m going to play where the winner is the one who walks away seemingly unaffected.

Quite the opposite. I am where you want me to be at the exact point where I want to be with you. And this is a gesture of a sort of self-aware affection. I will love you and keep you happy and satisfied in the proximity by which you’re comfortable while at the same time ensuring that no damage is done to myself.

Anybody can say you’re bad news but that  just becomes old news. All I’m really interested in is the ever evolving state of this storyline. We are not one article frozen in a headline bound by time. We are the situation they will watch out for.   Not one moment defines us. Every moment that passed, that’s taking place and that is about to take place defines  the state of our current affairs.

And all that’s newsworthy to me.

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